We just finished our month-long training at Mission Training International near Colorado Springs. We are now en route to our next training in Kansas City. We’ve had a few days to travel between trainings and it’s been a wonderful opportunity to appreciate all the beauty God placed in the Great Plains.
The language and culture training we received at MTI was excellent and we have also been blessed by getting to know other missionaries that are also transitioning to the mission field. These new friendships have become very precious in such a short period of time and it was sad to say goodbye so quickly.
So… What’s a “Pair o’ Ducks”?
This experience of making friends and then shortly thereafter saying goodbye exemplifies one of the themes we learned at MTI, namely that of paradox, aka “pair o’ ducks”. Simply put, because missionaries experience so many changes they often feel conflicting and extreme emotions or feelings simultaneously. We can label these as “yay ducks” and “yuck ducks”, positive and negative feelings that swim together. I think that this concept is important to share, first, so that you are able to sympathize to some degree the emotional roller coasters that missionaries go through especially during transition and their first term overseas, and second, because I’m sure that there are many times when your emotions have been or will be in tension and this is a helpful (and fun) way to understand these feelings.
Our “Yays” and “Yucks”
There is nothing intrinsically good or bad about a “yay duck” or “yuck duck”. The two ducks simply describe a gut-level reaction to a situation or change in situation. For example, these are some “yay ducks” that we will experience over the next year:
- Landing in Cambodia and “arriving home” in a sense
- God confirming our calling to Cambodia in various ways
- Making new friendships
- Setting up a new home
- Learning to communicate the heart-language of millions of Cambodians
- Amazing Cambodian food
- The sense of adventure exploring somewhere new
- Enjoying the fascinating quirks of a new culture
- Constant hot weather (I know certain relatives will consider this a “yay”!)
Some “yuck ducks” that we will experience:
- Saying goodbye to family, friends, and our church
- Communicating at the level of a two-year-old and whatever issues arise because of miscommunication
- Missing holidays and family traditions
- Missing out on seeing our nieces grow up
- Feeling like a foreigner and a stranger
- Knowing that the hole we left behind will be filled
- Guilt over childhood experiences that Malachi will miss
- Nostalgia and homesickness
- Constant hot weather (We’ll get tired of it!)
To state it another way, missionaries are often in a state of feeling happy-sad. It is helpful knowing this now, before we move to Cambodia. Within our family we may have different yays and yucks at the same time, or there might be a day when Josiah’s “yay ducks” are stronger while Becca is experiencing several “yuck ducks” (or vice versa!). It is important to understand and accept these feelings, without condition or rebuke. Don’t “yuck” another person’s “yay duck” and don’t “yay” their “yuck duck”!
A mundane example might be:
Yuck: “It sure is hot every day! I miss Oregon winters.”
Yay: “But . . . at least it’s not raining.”
Alternatively, this could be:
Yay: “It’s beautiful outside!”
Yuck: “But . . . I’m sticky with sweat.”
Sometimes, we must accept that another person is emotionally in a different place and this is okay! If you catch yourself saying “but” to what somebody is feeling, you may be guilty of “yucking a yay” or “yaying a yuck”. Don’t do it!
Getting Preachy
The Bible is full of paradoxes and it clearly teaches that this present earth will bring about its fair share of joys along with sorrows; expect it! In the words of Jesus (Matt. 5:3-12):
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
How is that for paradox!